`take my HAND* NEVER let go-

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

09 May 2007
9:11 PM

last night receive his msg again (coz i sent him one too) heehee.. dono Y, I'm suppose to get over him but when i receive his msg i was so over the moon and when i read it, it seem like I'm falling in love with someone deeply again..
aww... what should i do??? even though i enjoy the feeling coz i feel so loved.. but when it comes to reality i know its impossible.. me n him= no no!!! so why is the feeling still occuring???

when me and him together, i told crayon... he said it was honeymoon...we argue over it coz i don agree hahhass... but true enough it was..
now i told him we r over, he was surprise.. he ask me not to think so much le.. coz in the beginning of a relationship its always sweet sweet de...
xiao zhu too.. she said to late nature take it course....
as for Jack.. he consoled me ask me not to be sad...when i should be the one...
coz jack's grandma pass away le... "sorry to hear that"...

Friends are really important.. if not for them that night when my fairy tale end miserably, i might end up really depress.. when i need them they were there awwww... really love you guys... miss you guys sooo much too. thanks for being there when i need someone...

been thinking alot...those flashing memories.. haix..
well i am still able to get to slp thou.. simply with juz a cup of screwdriver (mixture of vodka and orange juice) and 2 pills.. tat 1 liter of vodka, finally nearly finish le..

school tomorrow... -.-"" haizz..

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Furniture i brought came yesterday a study table, 2 student comfy chair and a book shelf, brought a study table for shanie too.. i spent a month pay on it, but it's all worth it coz it's what i wan.. so i dint went to school stayed at home waiting for it to come anxiously...
it came den the delivery man was nice to help me carry all the way to the second floor.. din realize it was heavy until i carry it, imagine if i have to climb 15 stairs, unlucky enough i might even roll all the way down the stairs. hahhas..
b4 the handy man leave i offer him a pack of popper in a way of thanking him and he gave a very very pleasant comment which are music to my ears on my cooking he said: "wow! dinner smells really nice.." i was over the moon =).. enough to cheer me up for a day..
however things din go on very well when come to assembling the furniture...
first when assembling the chair, i accidentally pinch the flesh of my thumb when trying to fix the wheel onto the chair..it's not tat bad it dint bleed den when come to the book shelf...
i accidentally step onto the corner lightly, and its corner was freaking sharp it cut my heel of coz it bleed now.. den more and more cuts from the book shelf... i manage to cut both my heels my thigh and get 1 big bruise from it..
curious?? when lifting it up with shanie, we din really get it right, coz the book shelf shape is diagonal not rectangle.. ^^ so shanie let it go b4 i did and it happen to land HARD on my shin.. and guess what immediately it become a hump!! a HUMP!! can u imagine how hard it land on my shin now?? den when it come to the table, woo Lucky no cuts or bruise.. but my hands really went weak from all those screwing... screw screw and more screwing..

after all the hard work, gazing into my room the feeling of contend was there..
my room has all the basic stuff i need and want, although the shelf wasnt glass made but still good.. ^.* i'm happy...

next thing i am getting for my room is a BED FRaMe!! slowly wait....

recieve his msg last night was so suprise, was waiting for his msg tot it would nv happen.. cant reali get to slp until i saw his msg, i think i have the sweetest dream ever... i still cant get over him i guess...

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

06 May 2007
3:59 PM

Started at 5 Feb 2007, ended 5 may 2007...
it all ended... me and him became history.

ytd at work, i was only slightly quiet then usual, kuni spot tat..
she said i looked depressed hence, asked if i had some problem and if i wanted to talk about it..
but i choose not to at that moment..
it's was reali nice of her to be so concern about me, she den gave me a hug..
and i really appreciate tat... she din wan me to feel depressed, coz she is worried tat i might end up like one of her friend who passed away at the beginning of the year; committing suicide..

i probably wont.. neither will i use a pen knife to slid my wrist to ease the pain in the heart like i use to do in the past.. i reckon it's silly and immature, once i told jing off for cutting her wrist becoz of a guy, and if i do it now, how will she think of me?
so the worst thing tat i would do, is to drink until im drunk adding on a couple pills tat will make me go to bed.. and tat is all...i will be fine...

in the middle of the night, he texted me leaving me a choice tat is not a choice..
he wanted me to be sis with his ex (who is now his gf) if i still want him..
tat is out of the question!!.. so i rather back off.. and give them my blessing even thou i do not wan to!
coz first: his ex could supply him cash to start his business.
and i cant, i'm jux a student wad do u expect?
second: his ex could satisfied him, agree to have a sis.
but not me, im selfish i do not like to share my BF with another women!
third: im not close to him in distance nor age.. but not his ex.
so is tat sufficient reason for me to leave him?

i really hate to prove my hypothesis about guys are right that:
all guys are the same jerk, their words are always louder than action, and they give empty promises...
he really has his way, he said he wont leave me umpteen times, yeah he din leave me he juz simply left me a choice, knowing the outcome and made me leave him.
what else can i say?! all i can do now is cry and try to get over him as quickly as possible...

To commit in a relationship, the best is to know the opposite party long enough first..
otherwise, my advice: play along and never get too serious..
ever if they say to married him when being together for barely less than a year, best to treat it as bullshit, coz they r words that do not mean anything to him..

After all this, i den realize i was being an idiot an imbecile.. maybe too naive..like always..
To trust a person too much and too easily, end up hurting myself most..
Hahas..if i were to be a stranger watching this whole thing, i would be laughing at my own silly behavior..

But still... i would like to thank him for being part of my life..
happy memories tat we have will always be remembered..
As for the miserable feelings im having now cant blame him but myself...
im clearly aware that every good thing will come to an end but i've choose to invlove myself in, So it's a choice tat i've made by mistake..

This world is really materialistic. Now i believe tat money can buy love.
Fuck this world, i'm gonna be rich one day.. we'll see...

And for now, my aim: To study well, work and save money, and also train tummy for better looking figure... ^.^...

winnie will be postitive... coz winnie is still young and have a life to go on..

=> thanks kang soon for being there giving advice n hearing me out ytd night during the worst time of mine...^.^

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Started at 5 Feb 2007, ended 5 may 2007...
it all ended... me and him became history.

ytd at work, i was only slightly quiet then usual, kuni spot tat..
she said i looked depressed hence, asked if i had some problem and if i wanted to talk about it..
but i choose not to at that moment..
it's was reali nice of her to be so concern about me, she den gave me a hug..
and i really appreciate tat... she din wan me to feel depressed, coz she is worried tat i might end up like one of her friend who passed away at the beginning of the year; committing suicide..

i probably wont.. neither will i use a pen knife to slid my wrist to ease the pain in the heart like i use to do in the past.. i reckon it's silly and immature, once i told jing off for cutting her wrist becoz of a guy, and if i do it now, how will she think of me?
so the worst thing tat i would do, is to drink until im drunk adding on a couple pills tat will make me go to bed.. and tat is all...i will be fine...

in the middle of the night, he texted me leaving me a choice tat is not a choice..
he wanted me to be sis with his ex (who is now his gf) if i still want him..
tat is out of the question!!.. so i rather back off.. and give them my blessing even thou i do not wan to!
coz first: his ex could supply him cash to start his business.
and i cant, i'm jux a student wad do u expect?
second: his ex could satisfied him, agree to have a sis.
but not me, im selfish i do not like to share my BF with another women!
third: im not close to him in distance nor age.. but not his ex.
so is tat sufficient reason for me to leave him?

i really hate to prove my hypothesis about guys are right that:
all guys are the same jerk, their words are always louder than action, and they give empty promises...
he really has his way, he said he wont leave me umpteen times, yeah he din leave me he juz simply left me a choice, knowing the outcome and made me leave him.
what else can i say?! all i can do now is cry and try to get over him as quickly as possible...

To commit in a relationship, the best is to know the opposite party long enough first..
otherwise, my advice: play along and never get too serious..
ever if they say to married him when being together for barely less than a year, best to treat it as bullshit, coz they r words that do not mean anything to him..

After all this, i den realize i was being an idiot an imbecile.. maybe too naive..like always..
To trust a person too much and too easily, end up hurting myself most..
Hahas..if i were to be a stranger watching this whole thing, i would be laughing at my own silly behavior..

But still... i would like to thank him for being part of my life..
happy memories tat we have will always be remembered..
As for the miserable feelings im having now cant blame him but myself...
im clearly aware that every good thing will come to an end but i've choose to invlove myself in, So it's a choice tat i've made by mistake..

This world is really materialistic. Now i believe tat money can buy love.
Fuck this world, i'm gonna be rich one day.. we'll see...

And for now, my aim: To study well, work and save money, and also train tummy for better looking figure... ^.^...

winnie will be postitive... coz winnie is still young and have a life to go on..

=> thanks kang soon for giving advice n hearing me out ytd night during the worst time of mine...^.^

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*